Archive for the ‘Firearms & Other Weaponry’ Category

Weapon of the Week: The Riot Shot Gun

Remington 870 – Mossberg 500 – Winchester 1200/1300

They’re names you know and love and chances are, if you don’t own one, you know someone who does.

Probably the most common firearm in the United States, they’re used by the military, law enforcement, outdoors men & women, and Joe Schmoe next door so he can protect whats his.  These are your everyday, run of the mill shotguns customized to kick some serious ass.  What makes a shotgun “tactical” and/or “riot”?  A shortened barrel and stock which makes them more maneuverable and easy to handle and therefore easier to get away from zombies while carrying and firing over your shoulder.

Planning for the zombie apocalypse?  Get yourself a shotgun (along with a few other things).  Yeah they’re loud and don’t hold too many rounds at a time but I’ll tell you something, I’d rather have a 9mm pointed at me than the bitch in the picture above.  If you load one of these pretty little girls full of buckshot and fire a round off, it’s like firing nine .32 caliber bullets at once.  So zombies and pillagers alike, beware of the bitch with one of these.

The reason I love these guns…I have horrible aim.  I really shouldn’t admit that and I’m working on getting better, but as of right now, I f#cking suck.  But with one of these badass bitches in my grasp, I’m just as deadly as the next gal.  What?  Your aim is just fine?  Try aiming at a moving object while you’re trying to run away.  Yeah, have fun with that.  Now, I’m not saying you don’t have to aim, of course you have to aim, you just don’t have to worry about it as much.

Summer Glau

If you’re going to be a sissy and complain about the kick these ladies deliver then you’re most likely going to get eaten by zombies anyways so you’re no use to us.  This is the gun most twelve year old boys cut their gums on and its what Grandpa has stashed under the bed, so if little Timmy and Grandpa Joe can handle em, we can too.

They take 12 gauge ammo which is hard NOT to find but if you need help locating some, first check your attic, then go to Walmart or any other superstore.

For easier transport, invest a few dollars in a Shotgun Scabbard.  They cost around $40 and attach nicely to Alice Packs and other similar bags.  I bought a Voodoo Tactical Shotgun Scabbard off as a Christmas gift for my boyfriend and it’s perfect, plus super cool looking.

The thing I like least about these firearms is their round capacity.  They hold on average  5 – 8 rounds at a time and are tricky to reload so I would not use one of these as my primary weapon.  But it’s ok, procuring of these beauties is easy.  You can buy used models for around $100 and brand spankin new ones for around $350.

As always, do your own research and be careful when buying online from a private individual.

So, how does the Riot Shotgun rate?

  • Ease of use = 7
  • Accuracy = 9
  • Size & Weight = 8
  • Reliability = 7
  • Ammo Availability = 10
  • Fire Power = 9
  • Cost (for pre-apocalypse procurement) = 10

Overall Score: 8.5

Added Bonus:  Feeling like a total badass bitch like Summer Glau up there.


This weeks Weapon of the Week: SIG Sauer P226 9mm

This indomitable pistol is where it’s at folks.  If you’re going to choose only one handgun to carry during the zombie apocalypse please, for the love of whatever you find holy, choose the SIG Sauer P226.

She’s the preferred handgun worldwide for Special Forces Units and only one of two guns (Beretta 92F) to successfully pass the US military’s XM9 Service Pistol Trials that were held in 1984 to determine which pistol would be our military’s standard.  Alas, the Beretta won, but by a slim margin and owing mainly to price and the fact that SIG’s needed to be imported back then.  Flash forward to present days and the SIG is now what any department worth a damn that has a little bit of cash carries.  Some of those departments/forces include: US Secret Service, DEA, Navy Seals, FBI, Homeland Security, Army, NYPD, and many many more.

What makes the SIG Sauer P226 so amazing?  It won’t give up.

D, my weapons expert, has had one for nearly a decade now, has put several thousand rounds of ammo through her, and has NEVER had a single jam.  She’s also one of the most accurate pistols in the world.  And what’s more important than reliability and accuracy in any firearm that you’re betting your life on?

Need more convincing?  It’s a 9mm.  THE EASIEST AMMO TO FIND IN THE WORLD

They also come in .22, .40, and .357 models BUT most experts agree that the .9mm is the one to go with.

It’s a dual action pistol which means that it does not have a manual safety.  Instead, it relies on a hammer and heavy trigger pull to prevent misfires.  This means that to get the gun to fire all you have to do is pull the trigger BUT you’re going to have to do one of two things before your first bullet is fired: cock the hammer back or squeeze the shit out of the trigger.  So, while there won’t be any fumbling with a safety during a zombie attack, you do have to be a little extra cautious when handling a loaded P226.  Now that I think of it, you should be extra cautious when handling ANY loaded gun.

Her standard magazine holds 15 rounds though 20 round mags are available so you can drop quite a few zombies before having to worry about reloading.

The P226’s worst quality?  It’s big, heavy (2+ lbs), and hard to conceal, but it’s not like zombies give a shit if you’re carrying, and with a decent holster your fellow humans won’t spot it either.

There are a ton of P226 models out there and SIG is constantly evolving their prize pistol.  You can buy one used or brand new and they are everywhere.  Depending on which model you want and if your buying new or used, the price varries from as little as $500 to as much as a few thousand.

As always, do your own research and be careful when buying online from a private individual.

So, how does the SIG Sauer P226 rate?

Officer Bennet from Silent Hill with her trusty P226

  • Ease of use = 9
  • Accuracy = 10
  • Size & Weight = 7
  • Reliability = 10
  • Ammo Availability = 10
  • Fire Power = 7
  • Cost (for pre-apocalypse procurement) = 8

Overall Score: 8.7

2012’s first weapon of the week is: The Trench Knife

When planning for survival away from your home, choosing multipurpose tools is essential.  The less you have to carry, the quicker you can run.  All blades are multipurpose in their nature.  They are defense weapons and a tool to use for everyday actions.  If you don’t believe me, try to go a day without using any sort of sharp tool (knife, scissors, clippers, etc).  I promise it won’t take you long to utter an expletive under your breath.

So lets get to it.  The first Trench Knives were developed during WWI for close combat.  They are Combat Knives which means they were designed to incapacitate and kill.  The earliest types were constructed from military issue bayonets by individual soldiers so they could more easily ambush the enemy and dispatch them silently.  Once the ‘powers that be’ caught on to the necessity of such knifes they produced them themselves and issued them out to their infantries.  The Germans had their Nahkampfmesser, the French their Poignard-Baïonnette Lebel M1886/14, and the US the M1917, M1918, and then the Mark I.

For practicality purposes, we’re going to stick with the US model.

The beauty of this knife is that it has three main features: A double sided 6.75in blade, knuckle dusters, and a steel nut end cap on the handle that was dubbed the “skull crusher” for its ability to..well, use your imagination.

Now, the double sided blade means you can use it any way you want. Stab, slash, cut, whatever and you won’t have to worry about positioning.  Its blade is also smooth (no serrations) so you can sharpen it easily.  The knuckle dusters were originally designed, not as a weapon, but so it couldn’t be muscled out of a soldiers hand, however, that fact has never stopped anyone from using them to their advantage in close quarter combat.  Finally we have the skull crusher; a pretty little peak gracing the tip of the handle that adds a little extra oomph to a head shot.

The models to trust: the M1918 or the Mark 1.  If you happen to have a M1917, use it only as a family heirloom and not as a weapon.  The M1917’s were quickly replaced by the M1918’s because they were faulty and often broke.  I’ve done a little research on modern variations of the classic design and so far nothing’s jumping out at me, but that isn’t to say a good one doesn’t exist.  As always, do your own research before investing your money and betting your life on something.

Lets be clear, I would not want to have to use any knife against a zombie.  But, if I had to use a blade against a hungry walking corpse, this is the one I’d want in my hand.  The greatness of this blade has not been lost on modern times.  We see it again and again from GI Joe, to Max Brook’s survival guide, and Call of Duty: World at War.

The downfall of this weapon: Real ones; good ones, are hard to find.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and say if you do find an authentic one you’re going to be paying a pretty little price for it.  Now there are modern “replicas” and variations on the original but their quality is questionable and I wouldn’t want to bet my pretty little post Zpoc butt on one unless it was tried and tested.  As with most anything, you get what you pay for and if you’re paying under $40 for a any blade (brand new), I wouldn’t trust it.  It’s also fairly large.  The entire unit is just under 1 foot in length with the blade measuring at 6.75in.  With the handle being made of cast bronze I’m gonna guess  it’s probably a bit on the hefty side for a bladed weapon.

So how does it rate?

Since our ratings scale was first developed to rate a firearm I have adjusted it for blades.

  • Ease of Use = 8
  • Size & Weight = 4
  • Durability = 8
  • Availability = 2
  • Cost (for pre-apocalypse procurement) = 4 (hard to determine)

Overall Score = 5

If you’re going to invest in a knife, you should probably look elsewhere.

Our very first Weapon of the Week: Ruger Mini 14

Ladies (and gentlemen) if you’re looking for a compact, nasty little bitch of a firearm to start off or round out your zombie apocalypse weapon stockpile this is it.

Weighing in at around 7lbs, she’s lightweight, versatile, and completely customizable.  Not only will she not weigh you down, you can make this little rifle into a gun especially suited for you.  Touted by Ruger as “self cleaning” the gun needs little maintenance and was dubbed The Jamless Wonder by Hollywood when, take after take, the gun refused to jam even after it was dragged through dirt, sand, and mud.

The Mini 14 (Tactical) has a standard 20 round capacity magazine but you can buy mags that hold up to 50 rounds for when you bump into the unexpected horde.  This little lady takes .223 / 5.56mm (NATO) ammo both of which can easily be found at your local Superstore such as Walmart or Meijer so there will be no digging around in specialty stores searching for the right type of round.  While .223mm is slightly less powerful than the 5.56 it can still get the job done when it comes to putting down the dead.

There are many variants of this rifle and you should do your own research before buying a model, but we’d invest our money on the Mini 14 Tactical rifle with collapsible/folding stock.  If you do choose to purchase one these bad little bitches make sure she’s a recent model (2003 or later) as older models had accuracy issues do to mass production.

Cost:  While prices continue to fluctuate you can find a Mini 14 for as cheap as $4o0 but expect to pay more in the area of $700 if you want a pimped out model.

So how does it rate?

  • Ease of use = 7
  • Cumbersome Rating = 7
  • Reliability = 8
  • Ammo Availability = 10
  • Fire Power = 9
  • Round Capacity  = 9
  • Cost (for pre-apocalypse procurement) = 6


Overall Score = 8



Whats more important than a good weapon stockpile when planning for the eventual Zombie Apocalypse?

But what do you REALLY know about weapons?  I personally know….a little but, I’m lucky enough to have someone in my life that knows A LOT.  For the sake of anonymity I’ll call him “D”.  Remember the scene in the season 2 premier of Walking Dead when Andrea couldn’t put the gun back together as she was being attacked by the walker in the RV bathroom?  During the commercial break (and to my extreme frustration) D taught me how disassemble and reassemble a similar handgun…so yep, that’s what I’m dealing with…but it’s good (I have to remind myself), because these are things I need to know how to do in the event that zombies are afoot and the only gun around is in pieces.

One of the first things I wanted to do with A Girls Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse was to discuss firearms.  As I’ve mentioned before, I consider myself a pretty average female so I have a feeling that many of you are on the same level as I am when it comes to guns.

So I present to you the Weapon of the Week.  D and I will be picking one weapon per week and giving it a short summary on it’s pros and cons of use during a Zpoc and rating it, using a 10 point scale of 1 being totally worthless and 10 being absolutely awesome, on:

  • Ease of use
  • Cumbersome Rating
  • Reliability
  • Ammo Availability
  • Fire Power
  • Round Capacity
  • Cost (for pre-apocalypse procurement)

This should be fun!  Hopefully informative too, of course.

Always remember, do your own research before purchasing a firearm, if you’re buying something used make sure the seller is credible, and always practice caution and safety when handling any firearm.