Archive for October, 2013

It’s the weekend before Halloween and that means two things: costume parties and scary movie marathons!!

Here’s a list of our top 13 movies to watch for the Halloween season!!

13.  Poltergeist – Watch it unedited; it’s so much better with the parents smoking pot and swearing up a storm!  It’s an amazing segue into the season with laughs and scares throughout.

trickrtreat

Trick R Treat

12.  Trick R Treat – That little sack headed kid is so damn creepy but I just want to give him a hug!  He’d probably stab me though… It  also has instilled a fantasy of having 100+ pumpkins on my porch.

11.  Nightmare on Elm Street – “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you”  There’s a story about a dude who watched this movie and was so freaked out he refused to go to sleep.  When he finally did, HE DIED!

the exorcist

The Exorcist

10.  The Exorcist – I watched this movie once after eating a very “Special” cookie.  I was convinced my boyfriend, now husband, was possessed by the devil.  This is one of the rare horror movies that has held up over the ages and continues to freak me out.

9.  Shaun of the Dead – Totally awesome movie and at this point I (you too?) need a pallet cleanser and there’s nothing like a Simon Pegg and Nick Frost flick to chill me out.

8.  Friday the 13th – Why I refused to go to camp as a kid.  The last scene ALWAYS gets me!!

houseof1000corpses

House of 1000 Corpses

7.  House of 1000 Corpses – Rob Zombies major motion picture debut and an amazing masterpiece!  When was the last time you wanted to hang with the psycho slashers???

6.  SAW – While it spawned a wicked franchise, the original was so….original!  It also had a single subtle scene that continues to freak me out to this day: When the mom runs into the room to see why the kid is screaming and finds a figure shrouded in a blanket just standing there.  TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!

tcm

The fam of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

5.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – One of the best slasher films of all time.  This movie will celebrate it’s 40 year anniversary in 2014 and while a lot of other horror becomes laughable and “cheesy” over time this film still continues to terrify our sensitivities and inspire our imaginations.

4. The Lost Boys – Because it’s always on and I’m in need of another pallet cleanser.

3. Evil Dead II – Funny.  Freaky.  Bruce.

2.  Night of the Living Dead – Classic and groundbreaking on so many levels!

michael myers

Michael Myers

1.  Halloween (1978) watched back to back with Halloween (2007) to be watched on Oct 31st.  The original is a classic and Rob Zombies remake is an amazingly beautiful re-imagining.  Scout Taylor-Compton is a scream-siren supreme and Rob Zombie has proven that he is more than a master musician.

Honorable Mentions:

Zombieland

The Shining – I’m going to catch shit for giving this an Honorable Mention only but, while I find this movie super creepy, I’ve always found it too long and I lose interest half of the time.

Hocus Pocus – AWESOME fun movie, but for the kids nonetheless.

Nightmare Before Christmas – See above

Scream – Helped to revive the “Teen Horror” but if I was flipping through the channels and had to choose between Scream and 1-13, I’d choose from my list.

Paranormal Activity – It just freaks me out too much.  I could never watch this by myself.

scared

What I surely look like watching most of these movies

What about you?  What’s your favorite scary movie (asked in my best Ghostface impression)?

Happy Halloween!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

Our Weird World

Posted: October 23, 2013 in Bizarre
Tags: , , , ,

millipedeI HATE creepy crawlies and am officially terrified to visit Australia!  Now, I know that it’s home to some of the most venomous snakes on the planet but slithery doesn’t phase me.  It’s the skittering, 6+ legged, winged, super fast crawling, darting into crevices BUGS that will send me screaming!  I’d rather stomp a zombies brains in than have to face off against a centipede on my wall.  I know it’s irrational, I accept that, but that’s not going to stop me from asking you to kill a bug for me.

And here’s a story to make the other phobia-minded of you squirm:  A report released this past September, concerning a train crash in Western Australia, sites a Millipede infestation as a possible cause!!

Now it’s not as bad as you’d think.  When I first read the title of the article I immediately imagined a Snakes on a Plane situation: An exotic insect smuggler sneaks some hybrid killer millipedes on board via anal balloons.  The balloons break and the millipedes kill the smuggler and then escape into the train where they wreak havoc and multiply exponentially without explanation.  People freak out.  The conductor is trampled to death trying to calm his passengers down.  Samuel L Jackson tells everyone to

Badass Mutha

Badass Mutha

“CALM THE FUCK DOWN” but they don’t listen.  Some dick turd tries to stop the train by crossing some wires but he actually speeds it up until it derails and kills everyone but a lone child on board.  Of course, the millipedes have laid eggs in the kids brain and she will eventually turn into an insect-human hybrid and destroy the planet but that’s for the sequel.

But this story isn’t quite as cool.  It’s still quite horrifying (to me anyways) but in a much more toned down sort of way and not nearly as much fun, mainly because Samuel L Jackson isn’t involved.

Here’s the gist: A train traveling on its tracks crushed “hundreds of black Portuguese millipedes” causing the tracks to become “slimy” and slippery so that when another train tried stopping, it couldn’t, and ended up rear-ending the train in front of it.  Some people suffered minor injuries like stiff necks – if you can call that an injury at all.

Now, the millipede theory is just that, a theory, but it’s one that officials at Western Australia’s Public Transport Authority is “going to take into account“.  Which means we (well, Australians) live in a world where MILLIPEDE GUTS CAN (almost) DERAIL A TRAIL!!!!

I’m pretty sure I’ve just been catapulted into an alternate SciFi reality and I’m not digging it.  Next thing they’ll be telling me that spiders are causing faulty air bag deployments…

Oh shit…………. NOOOOOO!!!!

 

Sources:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2412633/Huge-infestation-millipedes-suspected-causing-Australian-train-crash.html

http://www.csmonitor.com/Business/In-Gear/2013/1018/Toyota-recall-Spiders-are-causing-airbag-problems