Rule #14: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Posted: May 19, 2012 in The Rules
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Rule #14: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

If you’re not scared out of your wits come the zombie apocalypse then you’re fucking insane.  That’s the only reasonable excuse anyone would have.

It’s fun to fantasize about sure, but if it did really happen; if the corpses of our friends, family, neighbors, and strangers alike began attacking us and trying to eat us, only a fool wouldn’t be terrified.

But it’s ok, because fear is a useful emotion.  Fear is what has been keeping us alive for eons.  It’s fear of death and injury that keeps us safe.  And it’s fear that will continue to do so after the zombie apocalypse has begun. We’re not used to being prey but that’s exactly what we will be and prey only eludes a predator by fearing it.  A mouse who has never known a snake before doesn’t fear it and will approach it with little caution.  The snake, a cold blooded predator, strikes without consideration and gets an easy meal.  This is how many of us will die during the first wave of a zombie outbreak.  We won’t recognize the zombie for what it is, a predator, and therefore we won’t fear it.  We’ll approach it without caution, maybe even in concern, thinking that a fellow human being needs our help, but what was once a warm blooded mammal is now a ruthless coldblooded reptilian like killer.  If we’re quick little mice, maybe we’ll get away, and fear will blossom in our hearts and teach us to keep away from the sick and stumbling.

Beware of the person who isn’t afraid.  If you happen to have one of these individuals in your group, get rid of them, they’ll only get you killed.  Some mice, for whatever reason, even after a snake has struck and missed, will approach the predator again and again, until the death blow is delivered.  My guess is that these mice are especially cocky, believing until the end that they can out muscle the snake.  They might get a few good bites and scratches in but alas, the snake almost always wins.  On the rare occasion that that snake doesn’t, a future one will.

Cockiness is catching, it’s why douchebags always travel in large packs.  Seeing one douchebag get lucky with a zombie may make others think they can too, which will only lead to deaths.  I don’t care how cool you think you are, no one is immune to a zombies appetite.

Apex predators have to be dealt with cautiously and with intelligence.  Fight back when you have to, but elude them as much as possible unless you have a well laid plan in place.  Many mice can potentially kill one snake but only by being smart about it.

Now, fear is different from cowardice.  Cowards are just as likely to die or get you killed as someone who is isn’t afraid.  Fear moves you, cowardice tends to cripple or blind you.

Harness your fear and use it to your advantage.  Do your best to control your fear.  Steady your hand, take a deep breath, and pull the trigger.  It’s ok to be afraid, you won’t be alone.  Even if you’re the last human on earth the little mice under the stairs will still be running from the snakes in the grass.

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Comments
  1. That is a scary photo! I went out with a girl who looked just like that Zombie once. Must have been my sparkling repartee that caused her to change…….

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