Our Fingernails

Breaking a nail is a bitch that we’ve all met before.

After spending weeks growing them and hours filing, buffing, and painting them, a freak accident with a car door handle occurs and you’re left with a mangled stub.  You cry out in disappointment and examine the ragged wreck, trying to comprehend what went wrong and if it is fixable, but alas, it is a lost cause.  If there’s someone with you, the inevitable whine “I broke a nail” slips from your pouting lips.

It’s a stereotype of women, us getting upset over a broken nail, and a stereotype that I’ll totally own up to.

Breaking a nail is a total pain in the ass NOT just because of aesthetics.  When one fingernail goes they all have to and our fingernails are tools we use for a host of everyday activities that suddenly become a lot more difficult without them.  They are extensions of our fingers.  Most men don’t get it because they keep their fingernails short and therefore aren’t used to using them.  When I cut my fingernails down I feel crippled and vulnerable.

Believe it or not I use them for more than tapping and scratching itches.  I can cut through box take with my natural nails, use them as a makeshift flat-head screwdriver, pick up tiny little things easier, stab through packaging seals, remove splinters, scrape things clean, use them as a toothpick, untie tight complicated knots, use them as pliers, the list keeps going.

I can also, when forced to, use them as a weapon of self-defense.  When my nails are long, you do not want me grabbing onto any fleshy bits.  I’ve inadvertently stabbed myself and inflicted wounds so I have no qualms about digging my mini daggers into an attackers soft spots.

No, I don’t advocate trying to kill a zombie with your fingernails, but you can fend off a human attacker if you’ve been disarmed of all other weapons.

Go for the eyes, groin, face, neck, and other delicate sensitive areas.  If your fingernails are your last resort, go for it.  Now is not the time to worry about breaking a nail.

Pre-Zpoc work on strengthening your natural nails with vitamins and polish treatments.  One of my personal favorites is the Sally Hansen brand nail strengtheners.

And the next time one breaks in the presence of a man don’t cry about breaking a nail, curse like a sailor that you “broke my post apocalypse finger extension tool”.

 

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