Rule #12: Forget About Calorie Count Only Body Count Matters Now

Posted: April 8, 2012 in The Rules
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

That’s right ladies, one perk to the zombie apocalypse: NO MORE DIETS!!

No more diets, worrying about eating healthy, counting calories, or feeling guilty about splurging on a little sumthin sumthin late at night.  Another perk?  We’ll probably be able to drop those pesky few (or more) pounds with a quickness once we’re spending most of our time running from the blood thirsty hordes.

Now of course that doesn’t mean to splurge all you want now; no, we do have to be careful.  We need to make sure that we CAN outrun the zombies once they start chasing us.  This means exercising now.

Sorry, I hate it too.  But it’s just part of the deal.  Cardio, resistance, and endurance training.  The holy trinity of Pre-Zpoc fitness.

But lets get back to the fun stuff. 

Once again…YAY, NO MORE DIETS!!!!!!!!!!

Lets just bask in the beauty of that statement for a moment…

 

Ok, now that we’re all feeling a little bit better about zombies overrunning the earth, lets agree on one thing: While calorie count won’t matter anymore, body count will.  If you find a stray snickers bar don’t think twice, just eat the damn thing!  And when several zombies wander into your camp DON’T THINK TWICE, just shoot the bastards!

You have to be prepared to kill any threat to your and your fellow survivors safety.  Take pride in your body count.  Strive to have one of the highest in your group.  Come up with new and improved ways to dispatch the enemy.  Become a huntress (or hunter for you dudes); a warrior queen who salivates for the kill.

Not only will you feel more confident in yourself, it’s common knowledge that the warriors and hunters of any tribe are the best fed of the bunch.

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