1.  Courage – Survival may necessitate running and hiding at times but you’ll also have to fight.

2. Independent thought – If something sounds like a bad idea, it probably is.

3. A good friend – Someone to watch your back and give you a reason to keep fighting.

4. A weapon of some sort – Duh.

5. Her purse filled with all her daily survival items – See Purse post

6. Luck – You’re gonna need it.

It’s the weekend before Halloween and that means two things: costume parties and scary movie marathons!!

Here’s a list of our top 13 movies to watch for the Halloween season!!

13.  Poltergeist – Watch it unedited; it’s so much better with the parents smoking pot and swearing up a storm!  It’s an amazing segue into the season with laughs and scares throughout.

trickrtreat

Trick R Treat

12.  Trick R Treat – That little sack headed kid is so damn creepy but I just want to give him a hug!  He’d probably stab me though… It  also has instilled a fantasy of having 100+ pumpkins on my porch.

11.  Nightmare on Elm Street – “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you”  There’s a story about a dude who watched this movie and was so freaked out he refused to go to sleep.  When he finally did, HE DIED!

the exorcist

The Exorcist

10.  The Exorcist – I watched this movie once after eating a very “Special” cookie.  I was convinced my boyfriend, now husband, was possessed by the devil.  This is one of the rare horror movies that has held up over the ages and continues to freak me out.

9.  Shaun of the Dead – Totally awesome movie and at this point I (you too?) need a pallet cleanser and there’s nothing like a Simon Pegg and Nick Frost flick to chill me out.

8.  Friday the 13th – Why I refused to go to camp as a kid.  The last scene ALWAYS gets me!!

houseof1000corpses

House of 1000 Corpses

7.  House of 1000 Corpses – Rob Zombies major motion picture debut and an amazing masterpiece!  When was the last time you wanted to hang with the psycho slashers???

6.  SAW – While it spawned a wicked franchise, the original was so….original!  It also had a single subtle scene that continues to freak me out to this day: When the mom runs into the room to see why the kid is screaming and finds a figure shrouded in a blanket just standing there.  TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!

tcm

The fam of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

5.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – One of the best slasher films of all time.  This movie will celebrate it’s 40 year anniversary in 2014 and while a lot of other horror becomes laughable and “cheesy” over time this film still continues to terrify our sensitivities and inspire our imaginations.

4. The Lost Boys – Because it’s always on and I’m in need of another pallet cleanser.

3. Evil Dead II – Funny.  Freaky.  Bruce.

2.  Night of the Living Dead – Classic and groundbreaking on so many levels!

michael myers

Michael Myers

1.  Halloween (1978) watched back to back with Halloween (2007) to be watched on Oct 31st.  The original is a classic and Rob Zombies remake is an amazingly beautiful re-imagining.  Scout Taylor-Compton is a scream-siren supreme and Rob Zombie has proven that he is more than a master musician.

Honorable Mentions:

Zombieland

The Shining – I’m going to catch shit for giving this an Honorable Mention only but, while I find this movie super creepy, I’ve always found it too long and I lose interest half of the time.

Hocus Pocus – AWESOME fun movie, but for the kids nonetheless.

Nightmare Before Christmas – See above

Scream – Helped to revive the “Teen Horror” but if I was flipping through the channels and had to choose between Scream and 1-13, I’d choose from my list.

Paranormal Activity – It just freaks me out too much.  I could never watch this by myself.

scared

What I surely look like watching most of these movies

What about you?  What’s your favorite scary movie (asked in my best Ghostface impression)?

Happy Halloween!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

Our Weird World

Posted: October 23, 2013 in Bizarre
Tags: , , , ,

millipedeI HATE creepy crawlies and am officially terrified to visit Australia!  Now, I know that it’s home to some of the most venomous snakes on the planet but slithery doesn’t phase me.  It’s the skittering, 6+ legged, winged, super fast crawling, darting into crevices BUGS that will send me screaming!  I’d rather stomp a zombies brains in than have to face off against a centipede on my wall.  I know it’s irrational, I accept that, but that’s not going to stop me from asking you to kill a bug for me.

And here’s a story to make the other phobia-minded of you squirm:  A report released this past September, concerning a train crash in Western Australia, sites a Millipede infestation as a possible cause!!

Now it’s not as bad as you’d think.  When I first read the title of the article I immediately imagined a Snakes on a Plane situation: An exotic insect smuggler sneaks some hybrid killer millipedes on board via anal balloons.  The balloons break and the millipedes kill the smuggler and then escape into the train where they wreak havoc and multiply exponentially without explanation.  People freak out.  The conductor is trampled to death trying to calm his passengers down.  Samuel L Jackson tells everyone to

Badass Mutha

Badass Mutha

“CALM THE FUCK DOWN” but they don’t listen.  Some dick turd tries to stop the train by crossing some wires but he actually speeds it up until it derails and kills everyone but a lone child on board.  Of course, the millipedes have laid eggs in the kids brain and she will eventually turn into an insect-human hybrid and destroy the planet but that’s for the sequel.

But this story isn’t quite as cool.  It’s still quite horrifying (to me anyways) but in a much more toned down sort of way and not nearly as much fun, mainly because Samuel L Jackson isn’t involved.

Here’s the gist: A train traveling on its tracks crushed “hundreds of black Portuguese millipedes” causing the tracks to become “slimy” and slippery so that when another train tried stopping, it couldn’t, and ended up rear-ending the train in front of it.  Some people suffered minor injuries like stiff necks – if you can call that an injury at all.

Now, the millipede theory is just that, a theory, but it’s one that officials at Western Australia’s Public Transport Authority is “going to take into account“.  Which means we (well, Australians) live in a world where MILLIPEDE GUTS CAN (almost) DERAIL A TRAIL!!!!

I’m pretty sure I’ve just been catapulted into an alternate SciFi reality and I’m not digging it.  Next thing they’ll be telling me that spiders are causing faulty air bag deployments…

Oh shit…………. NOOOOOO!!!!

 

Sources:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2412633/Huge-infestation-millipedes-suspected-causing-Australian-train-crash.html

http://www.csmonitor.com/Business/In-Gear/2013/1018/Toyota-recall-Spiders-are-causing-airbag-problems

On a recent trip to one of my favorite cities, I had the opportunity to tag along on a tour of the French Quarter’s spookiest corners!

Here’s a little review I wrote for Screamsirens.com on the tour and our time:

Walking with the Dead – A Haunted Tour of New Orleans’ French Quarter – Scream Sirens Magazine.

I can’t wait to go back!

60869032434314500_Of02beaY_bInside each woman is a princess.  Inside each man is a hero.

Every now and then we need to let these little bits of us play.

Scene: We see a spider and we overreact, calling for our hero to come slay the ugly beast! Hurry! Hurry! Come quick! GIANT spider!!!!!!! (there’s no such thing as a small spider, fyi).  Our hero dashes into the room, shouting for a tissue!  We toss a Kleenex in his (or her) direction and watch horrified as it flutters to the ground, out of his reach!  Hurry!!  It’s getting away!!!!  The hero dashes for the fallen tissue, spins, and squashes, er, VANQUISHES the foe!  We both sigh and look with disgust at the crumpled tissue.  Thank you honey, and you kiss.  Flush it, don’t toss it, ok?  I know! – end scene.

But it was just a little house spider, and though we feel a little guilty about its unnecessary death, we got what we needed, and that is reassurance that our hero still deems us worth saving.

Men, NEVER stop coming to your woman’s rescue.  Whether it’s a tiny house spider or a flesh eating zombie, always be her hero.

Women, NEVER stop asking to be rescued.  Men need to be our heroes every now and again and that’s a good thing.

Showing fear doesn’t mean you’re helpless.  Who shows up to calm your fears shows you who truly cares.

A man who won’t kill a spider for me will never be my man.

 

I should note, just in case anyone who knows me reads this, D kills all my spiders and centipedes if I ask him to : )

A late night zombie horror flick.  That’s how the obsession started for many of us.  Graphic scenes of bloody animated copses chasing after and devouring people like us.  A horrible nightmarish reality brought to life via a television screen.

To pay homage to the movies that shaped and inspired my obsession, here they are in order of importance to me.

I’m sure many of you have seen most if not all of these, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend doing so.

George A Romero'sNight of the Living Dead1968

George A Romero’s
Night of the Living Dead
1968

1. Night of the Living Dead

The grandfather of the modern day zombie genre.  They weren’t just coming to get Barbara, they were coming to get all of us, and like it or not, we’ve all been infected.

 

 

 

Dawn of the Dead 1978

Dawn of the Dead 1978

2. Dawn of the Dead – 1978

This was the movie that started it all for me.  Other than a few random Night of the Living Dead scenes, that I wasn’t supposed to have seen while over at my aunts house (and which my mom was mighty pissed about), the original Dawn of the Dead was the first zombie movie I remember seeing from beginning to end.  Yes, with 21st century eyes it comes across as a bit cheesy but for me it was the movie that opened my eyes and heart to the zombie genre.

 

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

3. Shaun of the Dead

I can watch this movie over and over and over again and still laugh, cringe, and get choked up.  I think it’s brilliant in its melding of horror and comedy.

 

 

Zombies aren't the only thing to fear.

Zombies aren’t the only thing to fear.

4.  28 Days Later

I don’t care what anyone says, fast zombies are terrifying and I love them all the more for that!  The 28 Days Later zombies aren’t your typical reanimated corpse zombies anyways, they’re the virus induced super aggressive zombie that didn’t have to die before it became what it is.

 

 

Dawn of the Dead 2004

Dawn of the Dead 2004

5. Dawn of the Dead – 2004

Not too many remakes please fans of the originals but this movie really did do the original justice.  I squirmed just as much watching this one as I did the first time I watched the original.

 

 

Tallahassee and Columbus - Zombieland

Tallahassee and Columbus – Zombieland

6. Zombieland

Genius is so many ways.  Plus, it has Bill Murray in it.

 

 

 

 

Dead Alive aka Brain Dead

Dead Alive aka Brain Dead
Sucking face

7. Dead Alive

For it’s sheer absurd amount of blood, humor, and visually stunning gore how can you not like this movie?

 

 

 

Slither

Slither

8. Slither

Not entirely about zombies but contains just enough for me to add it to this list.  An unexpected awesome movie.

 

 

 

Quarantine

Quarantine

9. Quarantine

Because the way the government locks down the apartment complex is frighteningly easy to believe.

 

 

 

Poor Bill Paxton

Poor Bill Paxton

10. The Serpent and the Rainbow

Ok, so this movie is outside of the realm of flesh eating zombies, but the fact that it’s supposed to be based on actual events, is some scary shit.

 

 

Don't judge what you fail to understand.Pic found here:http://cpecv-chocoholic.deviantart.com/

Don’t judge what you fail to understand.
Pic found here:http://cpecv-chocoholic.deviantart.com/

The older I get, the more chocolate I want.  No, let me rephrase that: the older I get, the more chocolate I NEED.

At some point, a switch was flipped, and I went from a casual chocolate consumer to an all out GIVE ME CHOCOLATE NOW OR DIE kinda girl.

I know that there’s science backing up the fact that chocolate is beneficial to our health and mental well being, but I’m not in the mood to look it up and quote it.  Frankly, I doubt you mind.  I’m fairly confident that you’ve at least skimmed one of those articles and therefore know that I’m not full of shit and would rather I not quote to you some science, that neither of us fully understand, yet are happy to take it at its word as we munch on some sweet cocoa while thinking I know you’d never do me wrong my sweet and silky friend.

Murder worthy chocolate decadence cake

Murder worthy chocolate decadence cake

So, lets consider a possible scenario…Imagine it: You’ve been on the move for several days, looking for a safe place.  You’ve been chased, had to fight and kill, lost some friends in the process, and now are about to start your period.  You have cramps, both menstrual and muscle.  You’re back hurts, your head aches, and your pants are feeling tight because you’re bloated.  You’re moody and weepy and you’re not sure if it’s the hormones or the zombies killing your friends.  You have two Tylenol left and you’re really hoping that this months flow is light because your tampon stock is running low.  Life is pretty fucking shitty.  You begin to dig through your pack, praying for an extra Tylenol or tampon when your fingers light upon a lone square piece of heaven.  No… it couldn’t be!  But it is!  CHOCOLATE!  Sent to you by the gods of whatever goodness is left in the world, you have found in the bottom of your pack a Dove Miniature!

Or, lets say you have some little ones with you.  They’re cold, tired, irritable, and about to go into a full tilt freak out complete with screaming and crying, a sure fire zombie attractant for any undead walking corpse within a two mile radius.  The lower lip is trembling and the eyes are growing weepier by the second.  You plunge your hands into one of the many bags you’re carrying (because even when the worlds has chocolate skullsgone to shit you still have to nut up and carry five times your own weight in supplies for your kids) hoping to come across some sort of small trinket that will stop the countdown to launch on the atomic bomb your child is about to unleash.  Your fingers scrabble across item after item until you feel it.  A Hershey’s Krackel Miniature.  Quickly, you pull it out with the quickness of a ninja, unwrapping the candy in one fluid movement, and displaying it front of the babes eyes as if it were the One Ring to Rule them All.  Crisis averted, all thanks to chocolate.

It’s also super delicious.  Beyond that, I don’t know how many other reasons you need before you stuff some random chocolate bits into your Oh Sh!t Bag.  Who cares if it might melt, warm melty chocolate is extra yummy!  Though you might want to wrap it in a zip lock so it doesn’t get all over everything, because while chocolate covered peanuts are awesome, chocolate covered bandages and bullets are not.  We do have to draw the line somewhere.

 

These recipes below were included because I came across them and they looked too yummy not to share with you!

Find the recipe here: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chocolate-pudding-50400000115355/

Super delicious chocolate pudding.
Find the recipe here: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chocolate-pudding-50400000115355/